I was at a complete loss about what to cover in today’s post. None of the “U” words I’d been scrolling through spoke to me. I was this close to posting a picture of an umbrella and calling it a day. But then I was reflecting on a motivating video I watched earlier today, and suddenly it hit me. The word for today is unafraid.
Fear has held an unhealthy place in my psyche for as long as I can remember. Fear of heights and water kept me from flying, or learning to swim until I was a married adult and had powerful motivation to do so. Fear of rejection held me back as an entrepreneur, from joining a critique group, and from submitting my work to agents and editors.
Even now–with my debut novel being published this summer–I still peek through my fingers, hesitant to post an excerpt. Feeling both joy and dread that my work will be published. I have many more goals ahead, including a desire to establish a career in magazine writing (in addition to fiction writing). But that pesky, old friend fear perches on my shoulder and whispers in my ear.
You’ll never be good enough. Why set yourself up for failure? What will people think?
But this morning I got the most wonderful gift delivered to my inbox from local writer, Linda Formichelli. In a post on her site, The Renegade Writer, she shared the link to a Skype talk she and her partner-in-crime, Carol Tice, gave on overcoming fear.
The video is a half hour long, but completely worth it for anyone who struggles with fear of failure or rejection. Two of my favorite quotes from the video:
“Fear is natural. Action based on fear is a choice.” ~ Carol Tice
“If you get out there and do what an unafraid person, a motivated person, would do, it will start to change your attitude.” ~ Linda Formichelli.
There were so many juicy nuggets of motivating goodness in the video. Carol and Linda also shared their experiences with fear, and how they’ve dealt with them. Had I heard parts of their message before? Sure. You probably have, too. But we often need to hear a message multiple times, delivered in a variety of ways before it takes root. Then sometimes it’s a matter of timing. We have to be prepared to receive the message. Maybe that’s why hearing it from Carol and Linda, in the manner they delivered it, on this day seemed to flip a switch for me. Maybe it will, for you, too.
During the video I jotted down a new mantra that I am hanging over my workspace:
I choose not to take action (or inaction) based on irrational fears.
Check out Carol and Linda’s fear-busting chat here. What fears do you struggle with? How have they held you back? How did you overcome them?
Photo courtesy of DaizyB. All rights reserved.
Okay, that is hilarious about posting an umbrella and calling it a day. You gave me a nice late-night laugh, which also reminded me it’s late night and I need to get my butt in the bed.
Also I love what you said about needing to hear a message multiple times, delivered in a variety of ways, and that it’s a matter of timing before we’re able to receive it. That is so astoundingly accurate of our human nature.
As far as fear goes, it’s a motivator for me. And yes I’m constantly peeking through my fingers at some of the decisions I make, but I also calm myself by knowing God can make even my wrong decisions right when I release the fear into His hands.
Fear is definitely a beast needing to be continuously slayed.
I love the way you phrased that. Fear is a beast. And the work to defeat it is ongoing. Though I now fly regularly, and have learned to swim and LOVE IT, I still fight my fears about those activities every time I engage in them. I just don’t allow my fear to stop me. I must learn to take the same approach to other areas of my life.
First, I need to say I love you two women– you lift my spirits.
Okay, now down to biz. I hate when I know fear is behind a decision I’m making or not making. I get so frustrated with myself when I call it “wisdom” instead– as in, I’m being cautious because that’s the prudent or wise course of action. BAH! If fear is a reason I do or don’t do something, then I know… KNOW.. it’s ill-motivated. I believe firmly in the Biblical principle that perfect love drives out all fear. If fear is motivating me, Perfect Love is not.
I like your U word. Although,it might have been fun to see what you do with umbrella….
Same to you, Julie! Group hug!
I love that you recognize the little mind game you’re playing with yourself, disguising fear as “wisdom.” Personally, I prefer the term ‘risk management.’ 😉